4 'Beat the Odds' scholarship winners have found the strength to succeed -- and be happy

4 'Beat the Odds' scholarship winners have found the strength to succeed -- and be happy

Four metro-area high school seniors who have endured hardship and tragedy will be rewarded for their perseverance this week with $4,000 'Beat the Odds' scholarships.

By Richard Chin

rchin@pioneerpress.com

Updated: 03/06/2010 10:12:16 PM CST

Every unhappy family may be unhappy in its own way, but the kids who rise above harrowing childhood experiences are often alike in essential ways.

They have some type of resiliency driving them to succeed, said Sybil Axner, associate director of the Children's Defense Fund-Minnesota in St. Paul. And they have at least one person in their life rooting them on.

Axner should know. She has met and kept in touch with most of the kids who have been recognized in the Children's Defense Fund's annual 'Beat the Odds' scholarship program, which supports Twin Cities high school seniors who have persevered despite overwhelming difficulties.

In the program's 18 years, Axner has seen teens who have survived physical disabilities, traumatic refugee experiences, domestic violence and families shattered by drug abuse.

This year's stories of four high school seniors who will be recognized at the Beat the Odds dinner Friday in Minneapolis aren't any less compelling.

They include a student who lost her parents through a murder-suicide; a student with a father in prison for raping her sister; a student who cares for a mother stricken with cancer; and a student who faced abuse and violence even when in the womb.

Instead of giving up or going down a self-destructive path, the four have turned their lives into successes.

'What's amazing is these students are exceeding and excelling and they have hope and optimism,' Axner said.

Here are their stories:

'I HAVE TO BE THE MOM'

"We had a really happy family," said Kristal Vang. "I guess I didn't know what happened."

What happened was Kristal's mother decided to divorce Kristal's father. She took Kristal and her three younger sisters from Minnesota to live in California at Kristal's grandmother's house.

"We arrived. Two weeks later, dad came," said Kristal, who was 15 at the time. She was sleeping with her sisters the morning of Aug. 21, 2007, when "we heard some noises we never heard before."

Kristal and one of her sisters got up to see what was happening.

"I walked out the door, and I saw my mother lying down with a bullet in her chest," she said. Kristal's father had killed her mother and then killed himself.

Kristal's sister also saw their mother's body.

"It was not a good experience," she said. "We were both traumatized. I think we still are."

Kristal couldn't eat or sleep. She missed school. Her grades fell. It took her months to forgive her father for what he had done.

"I think hardships are meant to happen, but not when you're a teenager," she said. "I really needed help. I knew I was going down the drain."

Kristal got into a dispute with her mother's family because she wanted to return to Minnesota with her sisters.

"I just felt like this was home over here," she said. "We grew up here."

Eventually, she was able to move back to Minnesota with her sisters. Now a 17-year-old senior at Harding High School in St. Paul, Kristal lives with her sisters in a rented house next door to their aunt.

"I take care of my sisters from when they get up in the morning until they go to sleep," she said. "I have to be the mom, and sometimes the dad, too."

Kristal said her goal is to go to a four-year college like the University of Minnesota or Augsburg College, with the hope of becoming a medical lab technologist.

"I want to show my sisters if you want something, just go for it and you will get it," she said.

SHARING STORY 'WAS LIKE A THERAPY'

Jasmine "Jazz" Caldwell remembers being in tears as she wrote and rewrote her essay for the Beat the Odds scholarship.

It told the story of what happened when Jazz was 7 and "one day, everything just changed."

Her father was arrested for raping her older sister. Jazz was taken from her home and placed in a foster home. Her father went to prison, and Jazz wasn't reunited with her mother and sister until a year later.

"As a family, we never really speak of it," she said. Until she wrote her essay.

"At first, my mom was a little apprehensive about the story," she said. She sat her mother and sister down and read her story. They all ended up hugging and crying.

"It was like a therapy for me," she said. "To be able to share my story, instead of keeping it all balled up inside."

She even called her father in prison and talked with him about the scholarship she had won.

"It was really hard to tell my father. I actually read it to him over the phone. He teared up," she said. "He couldn't stop telling me how proud of me he was."

"My relationship with him is really good," Jazz said. "We talk every Saturday."

Jazz is now 17 and a senior at Edison High School in Minneapolis. She has done well in class. She's a three-sport athlete, is on the student council and participates in an African-American cultural awareness group.

She plans to go to a historically black college and is interested in studying math. She said her grandmother's encouragement to pursue her dreams is the reason she'll be the first person in her family to go to college.

"My family really makes me stay strong. I want to set a good example for my nieces and nephews," she said. "I want to not only do it for myself, but for everyone else."

A LIFE OF POVERTY AND PAIN

Amanda Kelley's father died of a heart attack when she was 3, which meant her mother had to support her and her brother on a minimum-wage job.

She remembers her mother leaving for work at 4:30 in the morning and being away most of the day.

"I didn't see my mom that much," she said.

She remembers having a hard time fitting in at school. When she went shopping with her mother, she knew she couldn't ask to buy the clothing the other kids wore because her family couldn't afford it.

But living in poverty wasn't the only difficulty Amanda would face in her life. When she was in fourth grade, she came down with juvenile arthritis. The joints in her fingers ached.

"I couldn't write very well because it hurt," she said.

Her swollen knees made it hard for her to run.

"I got picked last for gym class," she said.

The arthritis affected her jaw to the point that she required surgery.

And she felt isolated from others.

"I lived in a neighborhood that had a lot of gangs in it," she said. "I usually always had my face in a book.

"Everyone looked at me like I was crazy for reading, and that made it harder to fit in," she said.

When she was in her sophomore year, her mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. Despite an operation and chemotherapy, the disease has spread to her mother's lungs.

"Nothing really has been working," Amanda said.

Amanda said she helps take care of her mother and does the cooking and cleaning at home. She also does the driving for her mother, getting her to the grocery store and doctor appointments.

"It's kind of hard because I have to keep my grades up so I can get a scholarship to go to college," she said.

Amanda, 18, is a senior at Johnson High School in St. Paul.

She also teaches a religion class at church, is the youth representative at her parish council, plays in a guitar ensemble and takes a dance class.

She plans to go to St. Catherine University, with the goal of becoming a psychologist or psychiatrist.

"I really like helping people," she said.

"I'm just so privileged that they recognized me," she said of the Beat the Odds honor. "I really need the money."

'THE ONLY THING TO DO WAS KEEP GOING'

Brian Anderson says he faced abuse and violence even before he was born.

His father hit his mother's stomach while he was still in the womb because he didn't want more children, according to the essay he wrote for the Beat the Odds scholarship.

The worst was yet to come, when Brian was 15.

In 2008, Brian told St. Paul police that his stepfather punished him with a baseball bat. His stepfather denied hitting Brian with a bat, but he told police he spanked the teenager because Brian was abusing his sisters.

The stepfather was never charged or convicted of abuse. The stepfather also accused Brian's mother of physically and mentally abusing her daughters.

Brian was interrogated by police and forced to live away from his family, according to his essay.

It took him more than a year before he was able to clear his name, he said.

He was helped by family friends who let him live with them and the staff at the Community University Health Care Center where Brian volunteered and where his mother worked as an interpreter. The health care center provided social workers, domestic abuse staff and legal experts to help Brian navigate his way through the accusations.

His letter of nomination was signed by nine clinic staffers, including a manager who let Brian live with her family.

"I was really lucky to have a strong support network," Brian said.

"The only thing to do was keep going and live my life," he said of the experience. "I tried to keep as close to my mom as I could."

Brian is now back to living with his mother and younger sister. The 17-year-old is a senior at South St. Paul High School and is active in extracurricular activities like the Boy Scouts. He's close to becoming an Eagle Scout, and he has made a hobby of learning languages. So far he speaks English, Spanish and French, is learning Portuguese and wants to learn Chinese in college.

He plans to attend the University of Minnesota with the goal of eventually becoming a dentist.

His mother, who came to the United States from Colombia when she was a young woman has been an inspiration.

"She's always encouraged me to be my best and to never give up," he said.

Richard Chin can be reached at 651-228-5560.

IF YOU GO

This year's four Beat the Odds scholarship winners each will receive $4,000. Ten other finalists receive $500 scholarships. The awards ceremony is Friday night at the Depot, 225 Third Ave. S. in Minneapolis. The event begins with a silent auction and reception at 6 p.m., followed by dinner and the awards presentation at 8 p.m. For more information or tickets, go to cdf-mn.org.